When “Being Nice” Makes You Sick!

Why 80% of autoimmune cases occur in women, and how to reclaim your power.

In many countries, women live five to eight years longer than men.

So, are women the lucky winners in the game of life?

Or did they draw the short straw?

While women may outlive men statistically, they also shoulder a disproportionate share of chronic pain, fatigue, and autoimmune illness.

Diseases such as thyroid disorders, rheumatoid arthritis, multiple sclerosis, lupus, IBS, fibromyalgia, and anxiety-depression clusters overwhelmingly affect women.

In fact, a staggering 80 percent of all autoimmune cases occur in women.

This raises a profound question: Why is the female body turning against itself?

The Hidden Toll of Caring Too Much

Renowned trauma physician Dr. Gabor Maté spent decades studying the emotional profiles of people living with chronic illness.

He observed that most women with autoimmune conditions share four defining patterns of behaviour:

1. Prioritizing Others’ Needs – consistently placing everyone else’s wellbeing above their own.
2. Identifying with Duty – defining self-worth through roles, tasks, and service rather than authentic desires.
3. Suppressing Emotions – being “nice” at the cost of swallowing anger or sadness.
4. Assuming Responsibility – feeling accountable for how others feel, never wanting to disappoint anyone.

Dr. Maté calls women the shock absorbers of society.

They cushion everyone else’s pain, children, partners, aging parents, colleagues, while rarely being granted permission to fall apart themselves.

Over time, this constant emotional labour produces a biochemical storm.

Stress hormones stay elevated, repair hormones stay low, and the immune system, confused and over-vigilant, turns inward.

With no external target to fight, it begins to attack the body’s own tissues.

The result?

A slow, invisible war within.

Two Mental Attitudes That Make You Sick

As part of my Doctorate in Natural Medicine under Dr. Gabe Roberts, I’ve studied the psychosomatic roots of illness in depth.

Dr. Roberts identifies two mental attitudes that are particularly disease-forming:

1. “I must never disappoint anyone.”
2. “I am responsible for how everyone else feels.”

Both create chronic inner conflict.

When you feel compelled to please, yet resent the cost, your nervous system oscillates between fight and freeze.

Your body becomes an emotional landfill, holding energy that has nowhere to go.

Each time you betray your own needs to maintain harmony, your cells record that suppression as trauma.

Eventually, this energetic dissonance manifests physically as fatigue, pain, or auto-immune chaos.

The Body Keeps the Score—Literally

From our twenty-five years of working with over 20,000 clients at the Purple House Wellness Centre, Pete and I have witnessed how unresolved trauma embeds itself in the tissues.

Your body treats emotional pain just like it would a splinter of glass: it recognizes it as foreign and mobilizes the immune system to remove it.

But unlike a splinter, these “emotional shards” can’t simply be pulled out with tweezers.

They sit there, radiating discordant frequencies that tell the immune system: danger.

So, the immune system fights, and fights, and never wins.

That endless internal battle is what we call autoimmunity.

By the time many clients reach our door, their cup is full, brimming with unprocessed emotions: stress, shame, guilt, grief, regret, despair.

When your cup is full, the Universe can’t pour new blessings into it.

The first step of healing is to empty the cup and to release the energy of overwhelm so the body can breathe again.

Pete and I have developed a healing system that communicates directly with the body’s intelligence, called the Miracle Method™ .

Click here to check out this groundbreaking certification in advanced mind-body healing.

The next workshop will start on the 28 February 2026

We identify the exact nature and timing of trauma stored in the tissues, even events the conscious mind has long forgotten.

Then, using targeted Healing Energy frequencies that are the vibrational opposite of trauma, we dissolve those imprints.

The change is often immediate.

Clients describe feeling lighter, freer, as if years of burden have lifted in minutes.

My client Christine’s life was shattered after a Tasmanian white-tail spider bite.

The venom triggered a cascade of autoimmune chaos.

Her skin erupted in burning blisters; her body swelled; her mind plunged into suicidal despair.

Doctors prescribed an array of medications—steroids, antidepressants, antihistamines—but nothing worked.

She became allergic to everyday life: couldn’t shower, couldn’t wear jewellery, couldn’t even enter a supermarket without vomiting from the smells.

By the time she came to me, she had lost nearly everything, health, hope, and joy.

After one healing session, Christine felt an immediate shift.

Her skin cooled, her colour normalized, and the tremors stopped.

Within weeks, she could eat normal food again, wear shoes and a watch, and finally sleep through the night.

“I don’t know how, but Grada healed my body. My headaches and rashes disappeared. I can shower in our water again and wear my jewellery. Life is very promising! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

Stories like Christine’s remind us that when trauma energy is released, the body’s natural intelligence can do the rest.

(Click here to read the entire story including the shocking pictures)

Healing is not always logical but it is always possible.

Why Women’s Bodies Carry the World’s Pain

From a cultural perspective, women have long been trained to self-erase in the service of others.

They become the emotional glue of families and communities, absorbing shocks, smoothing conflict, keeping peace during crisis.

But every time a woman says yes when her body says no, her nervous system records a violation of truth.

Every time she swallows anger to maintain harmony, her liver, thyroid, and adrenals bear the cost.

When multiplied across decades and generations this conditioning becomes biological.

The daughter inherits her mother’s stress patterns, the granddaughter inherits both.

Eventually, the body becomes a living archive of unspoken pain.

This is why many autoimmune diseases manifest around menopause which is the season when a woman’s soul finally refuses to stay silent.

How We Heal at the Purple House

Our process is gentle but profound.

We start by listening, not just to your words, but to your body’s frequencies.

Each tissue, each organ holds memories.

By tuning into these signals, we can pinpoint when and why the stress began.

Sometimes it traces back to childhood.

Sometimes even to the mother’s womb or ancestral lineage.

But no matter how far back it goes, once recognized, it can be released.

We then apply Healing Energy, which is a vibrational frequency calibrated to neutralize trauma’s energetic charge.

It’s like tuning a musical instrument that has been off-key for too long.

As harmony returns, the immune system no longer perceives the body as the enemy.

It can finally rest, rebuild, and regenerate.

Clients frequently describe this as feeling at home in their body for the first time in years.

Practical Ways to Support Your Healing Journey

While professional sessions accelerate the process, here are a few simple tools you can use at home:

1. Stay in Your Own Lane.
   When tempted to fix or please others, pause and ask: Is this in my lane?
   If not, let it go. This phrase alone has saved many women from emotional burnout.
2. Salt, Water, and Iodine.
   When the body reacts to stress or allergens, take a pinch of pink Himalayan Salt under your tongue, drink clean filtered water, and apply a few drops of iodine on your skin.
   This trio stabilizes your minerals and can quickly calm allergic or autoimmune reactions.
3. Ear-Tip Rescue Point.
   In emergencies such as sudden allergic reactions or anaphylaxis, press firmly on the top rim of the ear (the anti-shock point) while administering salt and water.
   It helps reset the body’s survival reflex.
4. Speak Your Truth Daily.
   Even small acts of self-expression, like writing in a journal, saying no, or admitting “I’m tired” teach your body that it’s safe to be authentic.
5. Prioritize Rest and Pleasure.
   Remember, your worth is not measured by productivity.
   Joy, beauty, and relaxation are medicine for the immune system.
6. Book Your Treatment.
   Support your body on a deeper level with a Diagnostic Session (Grada / Peter / Caleb) or a Full Health Audit (Peter / Caleb) at the Purple House.
   It’s the first step to understanding what your body truly needs to heal and thrive.

From Generation to Generation

Pete and I have watched multiple generations heal through this work.

We’ve treated mothers before childbirth, their babies soon after, and now, decades later, those same babies bring their own children to us.

One story close to my heart is about our youngest son, Tom.

As a child, he was dyslexic and easily overwhelmed.

We took him to a skilled kinesiologist for a full-day session in about 1998.

I was fascinated by the whole process!

After that one session his reading improved overnight, and his confidence soared.

He wandered through Salamanca Market on his own that weekend, something he had never dared before.

That single clearing seemed to reset his nervous system. (I can now achieve those results in one hour instead of one day!)

Tom grew into a balanced, confident adult, happily married, and living with ease.

Unlike many teenagers, he skipped the rebellious turbulence altogether.

We believe it’s because he didn’t carry the unprocessed trauma of his lineage.

When a child’s nervous system is cleared early, life unfolds smoothly.

That’s why I often tell grandparents: When you heal yourself, you heal your grandchildren.

Your peace ripples through generations.

If you’re reading this and recognize yourself, the helper, the peacekeeper, the person who feels responsible for everyone’s happiness, please know this:

You can step out of that role.

You can retrain your body to feel safe, even when you’re not rescuing anyone.

You can empty your cup from other people’s troubles, reclaim your energy, and let your immune system finally rest.

Autoimmunity is not your body betraying you.

It’s your body’s cry for balance, a reminder that you matter.

When we remove the stored trauma, restore energetic flow, and teach the mind new beliefs of self-worth, healing becomes not only possible but inevitable.

“Your body isn’t betraying you—it’s begging you to set yourself free.”

If you’re struggling with inflammation, chronic fatigue, or autoimmune conditions and feel ready for change, we invite you to take the first step today.

Together we’ll uncover the hidden story behind your symptoms and design a pathway back to radiant health and happiness.

“It’s so much better when the things you can do outweigh the things you can’t.” — Christine, Tasmania

A friendly reminder we see clients on Wednesdays, Thursdays & Fridays (9 AM to 5 PM); we can also assist with postal orders, so ring us on 03 6428 3007; to secure your order.

Alternatively, click here to visit our website where you can make online appointments (like a Full Health Audit consultation with Peter), read past blogs, download free e-books OR order supplements all at your own convenience.

If you’re looking for a career shift, deeper healing, or a supportive sisterhood, discover it here.

To learn more about the water we are using in our home, at the Purple House clinic & Purple House Kitchen – call Peter on 0428 283 007.

Follow Purple House Kitchen on Facebook and Instagram for the latest updates, seasonal menus, and a peek behind the scenes of all the goodness we’re creating.

With love

Grada & Peter Robertson
Master Healers, Founders of the Purple House Wellness Centre, Tasmania
Over 25 years of transforming more than 20,000 lives.

Grada Robertson, MNM
Master of Natural Medicine
Doctoral Candidate in Natural Medicine (Psychosomatic University / Holographic Manipulation Therapy with Drs. Gabe & Tiffany Roberts)

Grada is a three-time Amazon Bestselling Author of the trilogy: You Are the Miracle, The Underbelly, and Alchemy of Love.

Disclaimer:
Our content is for educational purposes only, based on our personal journey and research. It is not medical advice. We are not medical professionals. Always consult your doctor or healthcare provider for any medical diagnoses or treatment. The information we share is intended for learning and discussion and should not replace professional medical guidance. Any actions you take based on this content are solely your responsibility.