The Day My Jeans Turned Against Me (and What It Taught Me About My Gut, Hormones & Sanity)

When I bought my jeans, they fit like a glove, but the following day, I was standing in front of the mirror holding a rubber band, looping it through the buttonhole of my jeans to make them fit.

My belly was so distended it looked like I’d smuggled a sourdough starter under my jumper.

It wasn’t fat — it was bloated and tense. 

And I knew the culprit:

The roast potato the night before! 

I felt so uncomfortable in my new jeans that I put them back in the wardrobe, settling for the same old comfy trousers I have worn for years. 

Can you relate to this? 

I am sure you can.

I’ve learned over the years — both in my own body and working with thousands of women — that bloating, burnout, and brain fog all start in the same place:

• A gut that’s overwhelmed
• A sluggish liver
• And a nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight from living in crisis mode.

We blame ourselves.

We tell ourselves we’re getting old, sloppy, and lazy.

That we just need to eat cleaner, work out more, “do better.”

But really, we’re running on survival mode.

And that bloated belly?

That’s the pressure cooker saying: “Help me.”

The Reptile Brain Is Running the Show

When you’re bloated, puffy, and frazzled — that’s your reptilian brain in full command.

And it only cares about 3 things:

1. Am I safe?
2. Am I conserving energy?
3. Can I get pleasure right now?

Which means:

• If your digestion is slow, it’ll hoard fat
• If your bile is stuck, it’ll panic
• If you’re low on minerals, it’ll make you crave sugar and sweets.
• If your hormones are swinging, it’ll make you moody and emotional

This is not a mindset issue.

It’s a body chemistry issue.

Why Your Bile Is the Real Queen of Hormones

Most people don’t realise this, but your liver and bile are in charge of your entire hormonal landscape.

If your bile isn’t flowing, your hormones can’t detox.

That means:

• Oestrogen dominance
• Painful periods
• PMS
• Histamine reactions
• Fluid retention
• Puffy belly
• Weird weight gain
• Sleepless nights

Your gut is the battleground, but your liver is the General.

Warning Signs That Your Body’s Crying Out for Support:

Let’s see if any of these sound familiar:

• You wake up tired even after 8 hours of sleep
• Your belly changes size like a balloon
• You can’t tolerate fatty food
• You get cranky when you’re hungry
• You feel puffy before your period
• You’re constantly fighting sugar or carb cravings
• You get itchy, inflamed, or spotty out of nowhere
• You can’t go to the toilet daily without effort
• Your waistline has crept up despite “doing everything right”

If yes — you’re not alone.

You’re not broken.

And there’s a solution.

My 3-Step Rescue Plan (aka “How I Got My Jeans to Love Me Again”)

This is the protocol I return to time and time again, and it’s what I recommend to my clients when their nervous system is frayed to bits, and their hormones are crying out:

1. Beetflow — Liver & Bile Rescue

This is non-negotiable.

Just 1–2 capsules before food, especially anything fatty.

Within days, the bloating reduces, the cravings drop, and the fog lifts.

I take it religiously, and if I miss it? I feel it.

“It’s like WD-40 for your digestion.”

2. Magnesium Complete — Nervous System Calmer

This is what helps you exhale.

Magnesium is the mineral of relaxation, bowel regularity, and hormone balance.

But most women are severely deficient — especially if you’ve been through stress.

“If I skip this, my sleep suffers and my fuse gets short.”

3. Digestive Enzymes — Break It All Down

This is the spark your stomach needs to process food without bloating.

Particularly after 40, our natural enzyme levels drop.

These give your gut a much-needed kickstart.

“Suddenly I could eat a real meal without looking 5 months pregnant.”

And One More Thing: Your Nervous System

When your jeans don’t fit, it’s not just about your waist.

It’s about how held you feel in the world.

Most women are living in a near-constant state of:

• High alert
• Emotional tension
• Silent panic
• Suppressed resentment
• Gut-tightening stress

Your belly is the mirror.

It shows what you’re holding.

So when your belly stretches out…

Your nervous system is stretched too.

Like that rubber band, just barely holding it all together.

But you weren’t meant to live stretched to the breaking point.

You were meant to flow.

A Weekend Reset You Can Do Right Now

Try this gentle protocol this weekend (or start tomorrow):

Saturday Gut Reset:

• On waking, say to the Universe: Surprise and Delight me today, Universe! This sets a positive tone for the day.
• 2 Magnesium Complete + 1 Beetflow, followed by the Purple House Smoothie
• With each meal: 1–2 Beetflow + 1 Enzyme 
• Lunch at the Purple House Kitchen. 
• Afternoon: Herbal tea, rest, gentle movement, cuddling up to your pet, grandchild, favourite human (which can be yourself)
• Dinner: A nourishing meal with a tablespoon of Love Your Guts Kimchi or Sauerkraut, a handful of high-quality proteins, and lots of good fats, such as butter, meat fats, and coconut oil. We are very ‘good fat deprived’ these days. 
• Evening: 2 Magnesium Complete (I take 4 or 5 to have a good night’s sleep)
• Reflect: “What was delightful about today?  
• I enjoy finishing the day in a hot Epsom Salt bath with a mixture of essential oils. The warm bath reminds my body of being in the womb, which was perhaps the last time I felt fully supported and carefree, with every need fulfilled, tucked under my mum’s heart. It’s good for my nervous system to remember what that felt like.

Soak for as long as you need. 

Cry if needed.

Your gut knows what to do — you just have to support it.

Last but not least: IODINE.

Iodine is your best friend!

After air, water and salt, Iodine is the fourth element needed by your body. 

How do you know if you are Iodine deficient?

If you are a human being, living on planet earth today, you are Iodine deficient. 

So start taking these magical drops, and you will be amazed how much better you feel in just a few days!

You’ll be amazed how much better you feel in just a few days.

Final Words From a Woman Who’s Been There

If your jeans don’t fit today …
If you feel puffy, overwhelmed, and unlike yourself …
If you’ve lost your sparkle …

Please know:

It’s not your fault.
You’re not lazy.
You’re not losing it.

You’re just a woman in a world that never taught her how her gut, hormones, and nervous system actually work.

You’ve been surviving on grit.

Now it’s time to start thriving on flow. 

I am excited to invite you to my Saturday lunches with Grada.

Each week, you will get a mini reset, connect with like minded people, enjoy a beautiful lunch and feel transformed! 

Saturday the 12th: Topic: How to listen to your intuition. Your intuition is your Inner Tutor, your Inner GPS and most of us have lost connection with it. 

When you are disconnected from your inner voice, life becomes a struggle.

You miss out on all the nudges the Universe sends you, and then you might need to get hit by a truck, like I did!

Let me show you how to tap into your inner core self, the home of your intuition next Saturday over lunch.

• Saturday 12 July | 12–2 PM
• Purple House Kitchen, Forth
• $59 per person
• Book now to join us: 03 6428 3007

Also remember to join our Immune Boosting Workshops on Sunday the 20th July at the Purple House Wellness Centre and Sunday the 27 July at Marrawah Hall.

Saturday 20th July | 9:30 AM–12:30 PM
Cost: $119 per person – Includes hands-on demos, morning tea, a printed recipe book, and powerful tools to reset your body.

Saturday 27th July | 9:30 AM–12:30 PM
💰 $129 per person – Includes hands-on demos, morning tea, a printed recipe book, and powerful tools to reset your body.

We see clients on Wednesdays, Thursdays & Fridays (9 AM to 5 PM); we can also assist with postal orders, so ring us on 03 6428 3007; to secure your order.

Alternatively, click here to visit our website where you can make online appointments (like a Full Health Audit consultation with Peter), read past blogs, download free e-books OR order supplements all at your own convenience.

To learn more about the water we are using in our home, at the Purple House clinic & Purple House Kitchen – call Peter on 0428 283 007.

Your ambassadors for great health,