A brilliant blue sky greets me as I trundle the rubbish bins to the road early Wednesday morning.
Rubbish day is midweek here in Forth & I seem to have landed the unspoken chore of putting the bins out. If I didn’t it would just mount up and eventually fill our back yard. We humans seem to create so much excess waste in our throw away society these days. Don’t let me dwell on this please, I tell myself.
The sun glints through the leaves, as it rises above the hills across the valley. The majestic trees hide it from view a while longer, filling our garden with many shades of green. It truly is a magical time of year. A magpie chortles on the pinnacle of the cedar at the bottom of slope.
I remember about 2 or 3 years ago during a reflexology weekend Grada asked the students to write down a small desire to keep near our heart all weekend. I had always loved magpies, the sound of their early morning chorus, so I wrote the desire to have magpies in my garden.
A few mornings after that weekend I woke Grada with my laugh. As I approached the kitchen my gaze was attracted by something black and white. Surely not! I thought. A magpie had manifested in my garden. What a thrill! Upon closer inspection it turned out to be Caleb’s cow “Woca” (backwards for ‘a cow’) chewing her cud peacefully on the lawn outside our kitchen window. Black and white, yes, but a rather gigantic magpie! The universe has a sense of humour!
Now a few years later, on a bright sunny morning here was a real magpie. They had been frequenting the garden on a regular basis over the last 12 months. Picking at left over food scraps that the cats hadn’t devoured. The first few times caused a wonderful thrill to run through my whole body. Every time I’d catch sight of one I’d whip out my phone and take a photo. Or I would call Grada to come and see. If I caught a sound of their melodious carolling, I would feel ecstatic. My wish had come true. Here he was parked right in the top of the cedar in my very own garden. His mate was most likely sitting patiently on a nest somewhere.
What was happening? My heart didn’t leap, as usual. The thrill wasn’t there. The magic seemed to have evaporated. I had also noticed a certain fragrance that occasionally wafts around our garden that usually gives me a high, didn’t have that same effect today. Life had been hectic recently and I was letting things get to me.
I felt somewhat criticised and judged by Grada, my closest mate. Early in our marriage I would allow myself to spiral down into a black hole & it could be days before I eventually pulled myself back out. Those depressive moods created extreme tension and at times almost tore our relationship apart. I’m not quite sure when I received an epiphany from somewhere. I remember it as if it was yesterday. Maybe its 10 to 15 years ago when it suddenly dawned on me, “Hey I’m in charge of how I feel”. I allow myself to feel the way I do. Sad. Happy. Depressed. I have a choice.
And do you know what? From that day forward those dark depressive moods lifted and almost disappeared completely.
I am reminding myself of that again now. I know that Grada isn’t really the one criticising me, it is my own inner tyrant that lashes out when I have been working too hard and been neglecting myself. To counteract the inner bully I start saying: “I love myself, I love myself!
I tend to say this as part of my own health and fitness regime. When I stick to it for a minimum of 10 minutes every day, my perspective on life really improves. I feel the thrill of being alive again. I get excited. Yes excited. That’s my word for the year 2019. I felt it last year when I climbed high into the top of a tall silver birch to photograph the mazes. It made me feel like a little boy. Excited, curious, allowing my imagination to carry me away.
I realise I need to get in touch with my little boy / inner child again. To lighten up a bit, and look out through little kids eyes and really appreciate the life I have.
A couple of energy healing sessions at the Purple House with one of the other practitioners and helping Grada conduct her Surge to Success weekend was all I needed. My computer received a much needed defrag, and now I feel the warm inner glow of being alive in my garden.
It was amazing to see the transformation in the other participants of the Surge to Success weekend. It is always good to know that I am not the only one who falls off the perch every now and then. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes or coming adrift at the seams, as long as we know how to pick ourselves up. That is how we continually become a better version of ourselves.
Here is what a participant of the last Surge to Success sent Grada a few weeks ago:
Grada’s Surge to Success program enabled me to open myself up to a whole new level of deep inner healing. I feel so thankful for Grada & for her huge effort at putting a life changing program together.
To this day I am still using all the tips & tools that I have learnt from the weekend workshop.
I am progressing along my healing journey & this is how Surge to Success has helped me grow;
I felt safe to drop my “protective” wall & express my feelings that had been holding me in silence and pain my whole life.
I felt a huge shift in my energy. You don’t know what you are carrying until you’ve let go of it. I felt light as if a huge bag of bricks had been lifted off my body (well it did!).
I felt peaceful & content, my mind was free of clutter, my confidence opened, I couldn’t stop smiling & laughing for a whole week. What a release it was to feel joyful!
Minor things weren’t bothering me. I felt so complete & whole as a person, as if the part of me who I thought had been missing my whole life happened to spark up inside for the very first time.
I was able to hold conversations with people instead of feeling like a nervous wreck on the inside & wanting to sink and run away from speaking.
It made me realize I can & it is OK to express my voice & feelings. This has been a huge hurdle in my life.
I felt alive.
Instead of sitting on the couch drinking my 2nd or 3rd morning coffee while contemplating about life & trying to find motivation… I was up out of bed, walking and doing.
I wasn’t over-thinking, waiting or procrastinating for life to find me!
As my heart started to bubble & open from expressing buried feelings, I felt fully supported by the workshop group. This was a huge deal because I am a reserved person & don’t like to share much of my personal life.
It also opened my eyes that no one is alone in suffering and so my wish is for everyone to experience this incredible program.
Before joining Surge to Success, it was daunting to say the least, to even think about it but once you take the courage, I promise you will thank yourself for it.
The healing & energy during the workshop was beautiful and moving.
Thank you Grada for being the amazing teacher & leader that you are. You have made a huge impact along my healing journey.
It is truly astonishing witnessing the personal growth and the surge in confidence and clarity in the other participants. It is one of the most exciting processes I have ever experienced.
Just imagine what could change for you over two days!
And yes without all the hiccups of Woca, the black and white cow.
The next Surge to Success weekend is set for March 30th and 31st , so mark these dates in your diary.
There will be spots for 10 selected people and hopefully one of those will be you!
Catch the early bird price of $999 or two for $1299.
Half the participants bring a partner or friend, not only to save money, but to have an accountability buddy and share in the healing process.
Hope to see you there! Peter