At first glance today seems like an ordinary day at my work, but nothing could be further from the truth.

For Anita, my client, the clock is ticking. Time is running out. Anita seems to be in denial about her impending death, but my Dutch down to earth brain is sizing up the cold hard facts: her tummy is grotesquely swollen, her breathing is laboured, and her frame is skeletal.

Her systems are slowly shutting down and I expect it will only be a matter of minutes, hours or one day at the most before her time is up.

I realize that it has taken a huge effort on Anita’s part to come for her appointment. She lives an hour away and had to find transport to get here.

We have just done some healing work together which made it easier for her to breathe and relieve the pain that’s been her constant companion for the last few months. Now we are sitting together while I have my hands under her lower back to support her with energy. We don’t talk because there is no need.

We have entered a wordless realm where nothing needs to be said. She knows that I love and respect her and that I am ‘with her’ in every sense of the word. I hope that my presence will give her enough courage to help her reach her finish line with as much ease and comfort as possible.

There is nothing more isolating and terrifying for us mere mortals than being in agony and facing death while the rest of the world goes on as normal.

My own terror is still fresh in my mind. I am glad that today I can make a difference for Anita. The atmosphere in the room is peaceful, as if we are in a parallel universe, where dying is the norm of the day. Which it is, when you think about it.

I can sense her welcoming party in the room (her guardian angels or spirit guides and the loving presence of her parents) so I know that it won’t be long now.

It feels as if the Universe is preparing to welcome Anita back into the warmth of its womb. The same feeling happened just before my mother died. Peter and I were sitting beside her hospital bed at night and I was heartbroken to witness her suffering but at the same time, there was a sense of complete and utter calm, love and sacredness and that everything was right.

The hardest part of that experience was stepping out into the cold dark night a few hours later and shutting the door of the hospital, leaving my mum behind forever, closing that chapter of my life.

I had a Near Death Experience a year later, which really lessened my grief of losing my mum. Today I miss her, (and my dad who died last year) but I feel that I have a real relationship with them that continues to exist. In some ways, I feel closer to them now, than I ever did before.

When I got hit by a passing truck in 2006 the shock was so enormous that I immediately left my body. I was above the scene and noticed my body lying on top of the crumpled door that had come off the driver’s side. I could see the potato truck roaring up the hill, which helped me understand what had just happened, and that I was dying. My life was over.

I was surprised that I hadn’t had ANY warning at all, because usually I had strong intuitions or premonitions that saved our lives several times, but not this time.

I was completely taken by surprise. I was outside my body and yet it felt like the most normal thing to do. All fear and anxiety had left me. I was wrapped up in a wonderful sense of unconditional love, which felt like coming home after a long trip. While panic broke lose at the accident scene and people started to flock around my body, I felt detached. I didn’t feel any pain – rather for the first time in my life, I felt completely at peace. There was only lightness and ‘rightness’.

I would have ‘gone’ if it hadn’t been for the kids.

I knew that it was too early to leave them, they were only just starting to find their wings. I somehow believed that Pete would be fine without me, but my kids needed mothering.

The moment I remembered the kids I was back in my body.

The experience of bathing in the presence of the Universe, and not being limited by my own nervous system, left me altered forever.

Since my NDE I have been living with one foot on the other side and one foot in this world, which I see as a real gift. (Mind you, it took me a while to see it as a gift.)

I understand that the Universe is always open to us, ready to fill us with joy, love and deep peace, but we don’t take any notice of it. We are too busy working, thinking and distracting ourselves with our daily affairs or even world affairs. Or we are in contraction from our limiting beliefs about God, the afterlife, punishments, or not ever being good enough, which all get in the way of being in a connected place.

Anita has never expressed any interest in ‘life after death’ or getting in touch with her higher consciousness. I don’t blame her because much of her life has been a string of painful and difficult memories, and I feel so grateful that I have an opportunity to diminish the fear of death for her.

“You will continue to exist, Anita” I reassure her. “It will feel as if all your Christmases have come at once when you step out of your body. You get to go HOME!”

“I am looking forward to being re-united with mum and dad, when all this is over. I am feeling lighter already…” she sighs, as she is starting to relax.

Anita first came to me with many problems. She had previously overcome breast cancer and was petrified that cancer would strike her again one day. She wasn’t just terrified; she had fully convinced herself that she had cancer, and that it was only a matter of time before her Doctor would diagnose her with terminal illness. And that is exactly what happened.

Her health spiralled downward after the diagnosis and I had to find what was causing so much conflict in her body.

During her first visit I noticed that her energy was blocked around the pelvis and the throat. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to work out that energy blocks in the pelvis meant womb space trauma (she had never been able to have children). When the throat energy is stagnant it can mean a multitude of things, including low thyroid function or not standing up for yourself.

She had sexual abuse issues in her tissues.

Only a few months earlier a therapist had suggested to her to talk to her abuser, with the intentions of clearing up the repressed emotions from her childhood.

When she finally found the courage to confront her only brother, it backfired. He denied the whole story and accused her of being a liar and a cheat. That incidence had shaken her up so much that her cancer had returned with a vengeance.

I am not a great believer of ‘setting things right’, ‘aiming for justice’ or getting ‘even’ exactly for the reason I am seeing today. I am interested in you making peace with yourself and finding new ways to start loving yourself.

It’s clear that Anita’s history of sexual abuse set her up for a life sentence of suffering, like thousands of clients I have seen over the years. Some people have been married for decades and yet their partners don’t know their story. The shame they feel is so deep that they could never utter the words. Others talk about it freely, but that is still no guarantee their issues have been healed on all levels.

There are many layers to trauma, the physical side is just one of them. If we skip over the emotional, mental or spiritual bodies, they are going to trip us up, like in the case of Anita.

It is my experience that sexual abuse issues often cause cancer of the sexual organs or breasts, and you can go through all the harrowing treatments and into remission, but if you don’t open the lid and look into the root cause, it is going to come for you again. Pain and sickness are messengers.

We tend to shoot the messenger, whereas our real selves want us to sit up and take notice. Our bodies want to be heard and understood.

Anita had disconnected from herself and felt isolated all her life. I wanted to create a sense of belonging now and make these peaceful moments last. I wished she had come to us for help many years ago, but I put those thoughts out of my mind. In the bigger scheme of things there are no coincidences, and everything happens according to a perfect plan. At least that is what I choose to believe.

All too soon our session is finished.

death doula hands guiding spirit through forest

I feel that in this last hour we have completed her lifetime of learning and now she is able to face the next step of her journey with courage, hope and dignity. If her chakras remain fully aligned and opened like they are now, it will be easier for her to exit her body at a moment of her choosing.

I say goodbye, leave my room and step back into the reception area, where the phone is ringing, and I am confronted by the real reality of time, space and money.

Every day I expect a call to inform me of her passing.

Finally, after four days and nights we hear that she is gone. I sit in my empty room and let the tears flow, feeling a mixture of joy and sadness.

She endured humiliation, deprivation, shame and suffering and yet somehow, she soldiered on. I feel so moved when I think of Anita, what it must have been like for her to be her and now she is free. All is well that ends well.

I remain alone in my room for a long time, quietly honouring Anita and all my spirit sisters, even my mum, who is my sister now too.

‘Always believe in your REAL self!’ I remind myself on the way home.

Much love, Grada

PS: If you need help integrating your life, if you feel disconnected from your intuition/heart, feel confused, or find it difficult to be love or feel loved, please come and see me.

If you believe you have issues in your tissues, but you are not clear what they are, don’t hesitate and come in for a session. The cost of ignoring the signs and symptoms could kill you!

Your life matters!

You are here for a much bigger purpose than you suspect.

I am here today to help you make the pieces of the puzzle come together, to give you clarity and open the floodgates of energy so you can feel confident, alive and fulfilled.

Is this something you would be interested in?

Over the years I have worked with 12,000+ clients. You don’t need to tell me anything if you don’t feel like it, because I will set up communication with your body/mind and help you clear the energy blocks so you can move forward easier. (But you are welcome to talk!)

If you are stuck in grief and have lost loved ones (from elderly parents to unborn babies, to beloved pets) there will usually be a helpful message for you from the other side to comfort you.

I have known and worked with Grada for over a decade. She has an extraordinary healing ability. She knows exactly what is required for you personally and gets to the heart of your issues within minutes of entering her room. Her honesty, compassion and professionalism make you feel so comfortable and relaxed straight away, whether in person or via a distant session. There is complete absence of judgement. “She has seen and heard it all” she says, and I have no doubt that this is true because her sincere desire to ease human suffering makes her a magnet for people in extreme stress and trauma. I highly recommend Grada to anyone who wants to let go of their pain, past and history, so they can live a life of wellbeing and ease –
Ruth Brooks

Also every Thursday at 8pm I live-stream a process or practice that will quickly open you up to new possibilities in health, love or money. You can join me for 20 minutes each week to tune into an expanded state of mind. I teach you to make contact with your life force, so Miracles flow into your life easily. Watch Live on Facebook. Here’s the page for you to join me:

Book your appointment with Grada via the link below or call 64283007 to make an appointment.

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