“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell.
I hate emails that shout like this: YOUR TIME TO RESPOND TO THIS OFFER RUNS OUT IN A FEW MINUTES! TIME IS UP!
As soon as those words hit my retinas, I start freaking out. I obviously have scarcity issues with TIME and I am not the only one, otherwise clever marketers wouldn’t crash into your life with messages like that.
We are all time poor that is for sure.
My inbox is a smorgasbord of opportunities and every unsubscribe is followed by an inevitable sense of unease and regret. What if I accidentally deleted something vitally important? What if I miss out on
the chance of lifetime?
Imagine if a marketing message started with: “MONEY IS ALMOST UP!” That really should give us the shudders. Strange enough it doesn’t, because deep down we all realise that time is the most
precious commodity we have in life. When money is up, we can always find another dollar from somewhere. When time is up, we are done.
A month ago, time was up for my dad. I have now been fatherless for a whole 4 weeks and 2 days. While my father was dying, my sister, brother and I were tuning into his every breath, conscious that this one could be his last one and then our lives would be forever altered….. we would wait and wait, holding our own breath, and after interminable seconds, he would start again. This went on minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day for a whole week.
We didn’t know where he got the strength from, to hang on in mid-air like he did. But then, he had always been a Viking. My brother Piet gave him cranio-sacral therapy, my sister Corrie massaged him, and I did what I could to ease his parting by freeing up as much stuck energy as possible. (My other siblings were in Europe). My dad had given us a passion for all things natural and now we were returning those gifts as best as we could as we rubbed essential oils over him, and used our healing skills to the max to ease his pain.
Time literally lost its meaning.
We were soaking up what was left of my dad’s time in the body, the precious human connection, while he was still breathing.
Never have I loved my dad as much as I did then.
It was easy. He was unconscious, but his presence was there 100%. We could feel it in the strength of his handgrip, and the way he moaned in response sometimes. It was easy to love him unconditionally, because he had lost all veneer. His masks were gone. (Yes, even an authentic person like my dad, who never changed for anyone, had his guises.)
What was left was pure love / innocence / deep knowing, the same feeling you get from babies.
No words were needed.
My dad had never been a man of words at the best of times so being silent with him was nothing new. There had been a tiny window period where he became almost personal with us kids, after my mum died in 2004, but then he clammed up again when he married Betty in 2007. The women in his life were his mouthpieces.
He was a firm believer of ‘a word in season’ and that ‘speaking is silver, and silence is golden.”
He never hurried. I don’t have a single memory of him rushing. He lived by his own time table which was: “There is enough time in eternity!” (meaning eternity is now). One time I called into my parents
in a near hysterical frame of mind, with 6 kids in tow and a dead line to meet in Scottsdale. When I pulled up frantically all he said was: “ach kind (oh child) there is enough time in eternity!”
I immediately felt a great calm wash over me as I realised how ridiculous my anxieties were, about cramming as much as possible in my days.
My dad never worried, because he always got up nice and early, and he was an entrepreneur, which meant he could live by his own rules. There would always be more time tomorrow, and if time ran out, that would be fine by him too.
I remember another scenario, where we discussed travel. My parents never went on any holidays after they migrated, because they believed they had landed in heaven when they came to Tasmania. Why would you want to leave heaven? Besides, their daily routine was sacred.
My fathers answer to our overseas travel idea was: “Why would you bother going with all those kids? When you lie on your back in the grass, the sky is the same everywhere!” We still laugh about that one.
He never fussed about money. Sometimes he had loads of it, and other times bankruptcy was a hairs breath away. He never warned us about money as he didn’t think it was evil, like so many other staunch Christians. He simply said: ‘It’s alright to have money, as long as money doesn’t have you.” I think that is priceless!
So here I am, living my life without my dad. I think of him when I cook because he loved cooking and had a real flair for it, which is unusual for a bloke his generation (he lived to 91). I have just mad some chicken soup like my fathers. Well almost… my dad lovingly chopped the vegetables and herbs into very fine bits. He also would have boiled a whole chook and made proper broth, while I used last night’s leftovers. But still, if I close my eyes, look at the sky, feel eternity now, and enjoy a golden moment of silence, it will taste just like his.
Every ending holds the promise of new beginning, but it can still be so hard to move on when part of your life has ended. It was the eeriest feeling to drive home all by myself over the Sidling mountain range, the morning after his passing in Scottsdale. I could feel my mum behind my left shoulder and my dad behind my right. My mum felt protective of my dad’s spirit, him being a newcomer or freshly returned from the human realm. I don’t know how true my intuition was, but I felt more comforted and nurtured than I had my entire life.
And why wouldn’t I have been? Even in our human form we are only 0.0001 physical matter and 99.9999% space or unconditional love so when we die, not much changes really. We have just created a massive drama around it. Dying is the most natural thing to ever happen to us. Our body dies all the time. For instance, we have a new Liver every 3 months. If our liver cells refused to die to make room for new ones, we would get very sick and suffer greatly before the whole body died.
All the cells of our body have an internal clock that dictates when time is up. Our cells willingly fall apart. There is no drama, it’s a peaceful process. We don’t even know that right now, as you are reading this email, trillions of cells are dying and trillions are being born. In the big scheme of things, death precedes life and vice versa. So, it’s a logical conclusion that death of our physical body leads to a beautiful new life in the invisible realm.
Us kids always believed my mum was ‘psychic’ (she had something different) but perhaps my dad had been a healer in disguise too. Ever since his passing my joints have been popping and crackling from the energy that courses through my body when I am in healing mode and I can feel his presence very close, which seems to heighten my intuition even more than normal.
“Look out for new life!” a friend messaged me on hearing my father had died. Well, I didn’t have to look far: the moment my dad passed over, I got news that the autobiography I have been working on for years “You are the Miracle!” was getting ready for print. I took it as a sign that my writing has my dad’s blessing.
There are no coincidences. Timing couldn’t have been more poignant.
I decided to write my life story in 2006, when I was carted off the accident scene into the waiting ambulance. I knew I was paralysed, but that my arms still functioned, and my brain was on high alert. I promised myself that’s what I would do, if I survived.
I didn’t fulfil that promise till 2015 and finally finished in 2017. First I tried to write my story as a self help book, like: a hundred ways to bounce back from disaster, or: the idiots guide to surviving life, but it just wouldn’t come out all sane and sensible.
In the end, I simply opened my heart and let the story flow. It turned out to be so personal, that I got scared and hid the 400 pages under my bed for later. Finally, early this year, I discovered an intuitive editor, Karen Collyer, who rescued my story and found my voice. Again, it was shelved for a few months, till suddenly, when my dad started to go downhill, I got word that the book was going to print!
Time to focus on what is to be gained rather than what has been lost.
Live your light, walk in love! Grada
PS: I am taking September off to finish another book, to give myself some space to lick my wounds and to focus on the future.
I am hoping to return to seeing clients for private sessions from October onwards.
My Surge to Success women’s empowerment program starts again on the 13th of September. If you are interested but not sure if this is for you, please contact us on 64283007 or check out:
I will be running a Surge to Success Weekend bootcamp on the 15th and 16th of September. This weekend is for men and women who seek to fast forward their personal evolution, become confident and feel validated. You will be shown where you are stuck in life, (eg, you might always have money blocks, no matter how hard you work and what you try, or you experience heart break or repetitive worries and recurrent stresses) I will take you through a series of practices to open up the floodgates of energy and abundance, so your life will change instantly.
Check out this link to read more: http://bit.ly/successweekend . I like to keep the groups small and personal, and workshops fill up fast.
Finally, my Reflexology Weekend Workshop on the 29th and 30th September still has a few places left. Check it out here. http://bit.ly/reflexologyworkshop
And last but not least, we are opening our mazes to the public during the October school holidays, so make a date in your diary to discover our stunning mazes and labyrinths and enjoy a meal at Alchemy Café afterwards. Our mazes have been growing quietly for the last 15 years. Timing is everything and it seems as if the start of daylight savings 2018 is the perfect time for our new venture.
I am planning an official book launch for the 10th November so you will hear more about it closer to the time.
Every Monday at 7pm, we have an essential oil 101 evening at 47 Wilmot Rd Forth. These evenings are free education to help you create an essential oil filled, chemical free lifestyle. Please RSVP by email or by calling 64283007 so we are able to plan the evening.
Things to remember from this blog:
Wise words from my dad:
On time: There is enough time in eternity.
On money: It’s alright to have money, as long as money doesn’t have you!
On space: When you lie on your back, the sky looks the same everywhere.
On silence: Speaking is silver, silence is golden.
He was as clever as Einstein!