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I am in the middle of a healing session with a teenage girl. The mum rang earlier and said that if something didn’t change soon she was going to strangle her daughter…they were always fighting, even to the point of punching each other and the way they were going there wouldn’t be any respect left on both sides. The mum’s self respect was in tatters already.

Not far into the session I become aware that there was an issue of sexual abuse. I wasn’t sure if the girl herself was the victim or whether it was to do with her mother. I do a healing correction and decide to suss it out with the mum before I open a discussion with the young girl. I have to be frank to the mum and tell her that the girl’s cell memories contain trauma from sexual abuse and it is causing unrest and low self esteem. I told her that I had a strong feeling that the daughter was carrying her (the mum’s) stuff and that they were probably mirroring deeply held unconscious stresses to each other, hence the level of intolerance.

The mum immediately knows what I am talking about: it wasn’t her stuff either; it was to do with her own mum (the girl’s grandmother) who had been raped as a young girl. As a result of the rape she had fallen pregnant, had been put away till the child was born and the child had been adopted out. The secret had been hushed up and all the mum knew was that she had a half-sister or half-brother somewhere.

I feel confident that the daughter will be a different person after today’s session but I can see that in order for the family unit to heal completely the mum needs a session as well so I book her in with one of our practitioners. Under normal circumstances it is extremely difficult to overcome a gulf like this between mother and daughter with so much antagonism, but with kinergetics it becomes much easier to forgive each other.

The question is how come these memory imprints remain so strong, even after 50 years or so and 2 generations later? The answer is that feelings of fear, pain, frustration, rage and humiliation are extremely powerful. If these feelings are not dealt with and swept under the carpet, or if there is lack of forgiveness (and you have to admit, it is a big ask to forgive the person who rapes you and destroys your life) then strong emotional trauma energy remains imprinted in the blue print of the person. This imprint is often passed down the generations and this is how friction and feuds occur, sometimes amongst siblings and other times between parents and children. You don’t know why, but your brother or sister just always rubs you the wrong way. Or you have a real connection with one child, but if you were really honest with yourself, you just can’t bond with the other child. The reality is that as a family you are living in the same energetic soup and getting your nose rubbed in the same genetic information that your own body is trying to keep suppressed.

The beauty of living in today’s era is that there is a lot more awareness around sexual abuse and other ‘shameful subjects’. However that in itself doesn’t necessary heal you or your family. This is where today’s healing therapies come in. Kinergetics will reveal previously hidden trauma’s and bring them to your awareness while at the same time healing and harmonizing the energy of the body.

If you think that sexual abuse only happens to a small isolated part of the population then think again. All levels of society are steeped in it. Some statistics show that 1 in 2 females and 1 in 4 males have experienced a form of sexual abuse. That means that if you are reading this now it is highly likely you can relate to this subject from personal pain and experience.

The first time I encountered sexual abuse in a client was very early on in my career. Most of that time I was operating as a solo therapist , with Peter working as a full time nurse and doing part time work in the clinic. This day an elderly lady came to me because her diabetes was out of control and she used to cry all the time. Her kids didn’t want to see her anymore because she wore them down with her tears and her husband also used to stay in the car the whole time she was with me. He was happy to be away from her for an hour or so. Over the course of the weeks she told me bits and pieces of her past, and I was on a very steep learning curve.

She grew up in a country in Europe and had a normal life till when she was twelve her mum was giving birth at home. The birth was long and complicated and at one point the midwife sent my client to the local village Doctor. The Doctor wanted money before he would pay a home visit so my client returned home to ask for money. By the time she had gone back to the Dr for the second time her mum had died. From then on her life turned into a nightmare because her father demanded her services in bed at night, as well as taking over the role as a mum to her younger siblings. This went on for years till she was old enough to marry. After she got married and she and her husband tried to banish the past and build a new life in Australia. However, now in her old age there was nothing stopping the old memories from flooding back and all she could do was cry and cry. She was already under the supervision of a psychiatrist and psychologist by the time she came to me. I used to treat her with reflexology, Bach Flowers and the Horstmann technique (a gentle energy healing therapy) at the time and even though we were making some progress I was always looking for the silver bullet in healing therapies that would be able to shift the bulk of her trauma quickly and leave her and her husband free to enjoy their old age.

One day I was doing some reflexology when her feet suddenly went limp and she was unconscious. Remember this was early days for me and I had a lot to learn about how powerful healing techniques like reflexology are. She had gone into an acute healing crisis. Luckily Peter was nearby and we managed to wake her up. She was a bit disoriented for a while but after that episode her emotional pain was less acute and one day I heard her sing to another client in the waiting room. She had a beautiful rich singing voice and she started to re-discover the joy of singing. After I had a MV accident I lost touch with her and eventually Pete and I saw her death notice in the paper, where she had died from ‘old age’. I felt a sense of relief on her behalf however her undealt painful memories are probably still being lived out in the lives of her children and grandchildren.

Not long after that I treated another elderly lady who had suffered from a stiff neck for about 10 years. Because of her age and because I was gaining respect for reflexology I just gave her a very light session. However when it was time to get dressed she started vomiting. When I took her blood pressure it was sky high. Another healing crisis! I was very concerned and offered to ring an ambulance but she refused. One of her children collected her and I was mortified and ashamed at how sick she was. I had a sleepless night and the next morning I rang the daughter where she was staying. The daughter told me a little bit about her mums past (you can guess the nature of the trauma by now) and that she was still sick but OK. I rang her again the next day and both mother and daughter were thrilled: her neck was pain free and there was no stiffness anymore. I only hoped the emotions that had been trapped in her neck were gone too!

So you can imagine how happy I was when I finally learnt Kinergetics. These days there are five of us at the Purple House who use this therapy on a daily basis, often in conjunction with a massage or reflexology session. It combines the best of all therapies and works deep and fast without clients having to suffer. It is an easy medium for the body/subconscious mind to transfer information that may have been dormant for years, or even generations. The client’s bodies no longer have any need for vomiting or acute healing crises because it is supported at a cell level every step along the way. Clients who have experienced the most horrendous forms of abuse walk away with self esteem and dignity even after one session!

Being regularly confronted with sexual abuse in my clients I have often wondered if there is something in my past that I have suppressed. But I can say that I have always been lucky and only had some ‘near misses’. I was attacked from behind at a supermarket one time when I was about 15 in Holland. I told the boy he was going to ruin his life if he continued and that was enough to bring him to his senses. When I was 16 I used to have a stalker. This was probably the scariest experience in my adolescent years. He used to follow me from the train station to my high school once or twice a week. Sometimes he used to follow me only from meters behind. I didn’t know what to do other than ignore him and that worked because eventually he stopped. I didn’t tell my parents anything because I didn’t want to cause them undue stress and it was all so unreal I could hardly believe it myself that it was happening. Now I understand that it must have been very stressful because a few years ago I studied the live blood of a young girl who was being stalked. It was some of the worst blood I have seen, the cells were literally dying in front of my eyes. Such is the strength of our denial sometimes!

I was extremely lucky to escape being raped when we were at a high school excursion in Rome. One night the door to our girls’ dormitory opened and an Italian jumped on top of the closest bed, which happened to be mine. A hand closed over my mouth and I was completely overpowered by a crazy Italian who was on a mission! All the girls lay frozen in shock till one of the girls regained her wits and asked the bloke to go and get his mates so we could all have some fun! As soon as he left the room we barricaded the door and spent the next few hours giggling in nervous energy. Our Latin teacher who was meant to protect us from sleazy Italians snored his head off while the young men came back and banged at the door of the girls dormitory. Eventually they stole away in the night without any luck at their part or doing any harm to us.

While these three events gave me a scare at the time they didn’t really cause any post traumatic stress. In each case I was ‘attacked’ by a stranger. The deepest harm comes from a child or young person being betrayed by somebody in a position of trust and that trust is abused. Unfortunately there is still plenty of that going on today. Luckily the human spirit is incredibly resilient and we can rise above our past, come out stronger and move forward.

When you suspect healing is required ring 64283007 for a session with Peter, Sarah, Lynne, Rhoda, Caleb or me. Till next time! Grada

Ps: if you have a story to share that will help or encourage somebody else please forward it to me!